Whats Conkin?- A monthly feature bought to you by Conquistadors [What’s Conkin #1]

January 28, 2012
The vibrant melodic, math pop-rock Birmingham based 4 piece Conquistadors or Conks for short are good friends and a familiar name to the site. This year we are starting a monthly feature handing the site over to Conks for their What’s Conkin? feature. To familiarise yourself with the great sounds of Conks you can find their recent record streaming below. Regarding the posts- I warn you now anything can be found in their monthly article- but you are all in for a treat from these talented men. Starting the first ever edition to the site is….
A Conks Guide to Dating‏
 This is one for the fans who remember “DCD”, one of our first ever songs. Those who do remember it probably won’t know that it stood for ‘Drunken Cinema Debacle’ and was inspired by a really terrible first date our drummer Andy had. So here’s Andy’s guide to dating (specifically how not to do it.)
Conquistadors: A Conk’s Guide To Dating

The following handy hints and tips are brought to you in earnest by Conks drummer Andy Palmer.

He learnt these the hard way so you don’t have to.

Pre-date routine

Acceptable:  A quick pre-date pint to settle nerves

Unacceptable:  Having a pre-date drink three hours before you’re meant to meet.

More unacceptable:  Enjoying this quick pre-date drink so much you have a second, and a third, and so on.  It doesn’t help when the situation is exacerbated by the fact you are being served by your friend, who keeps thrusting free Guinness’ your way.

Very unacceptable:  Ordering an onion-heavy pizza in a vain attempt to line your stomach

Massively unacceptable:  Upon realising that by now you are very drunk, texting the girl to inform her you are running around 2 hours late.

The date itself

Acceptable:  Take her to the movies

Unacceptable:  Take her to see gory tit-fest Sin City

Acceptable:  Nipping to the loo

Unacceptable:  Nipping to the loo 5 minutes into the film

Very unacceptable:  Passing out in the loo only to be woken 2-hours later by an usher knocking on the cubicle door with an irate/concerned date standing behind him.


Acceptable:  Admitting to yourself the date was a disaster and you should probably never see each other again

Very unacceptable:  Calling her an hour later asking for your pizza, which you left in her car.

Listen to Conks-
The EP is also available via I-Tunes – http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/on-tape/id436891439
We can’t wait for the second instalment Until then get closer to the four by checking their links below. 
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